How to Make Nutritionally Dubious Enchiladas the Way ~K Does

Step 1.
Give in to requests to make Enchiladas and get ingredients at store.
You will need:
1 package tortillas. I like Banderita, myself. But that’s just me.
1 big or 2 small packages of ground beef.
An onion
A bell pepper
2 cans of enchilada sauce
Sour cream
Monterey Jack cheese, 2 blocks
1 large package of shredded Mexican blend cheese
1 packet of toxic burrito or taco seasoning.

Step 2.
A day or two after buying the above ingredients, go to kitchen

Step 3.
Realize the ground beef is still frozen solid in the freezer and those little metal clampy things on the ends of the package will preclude defrosting in the microwave.

Step 4.
Announce that we will have to go out for Chinese tonight instead. Try to sound convincingly disappointed.

Step 5.
The next day, repeat Step 2.

Step 6.
Plug in MP3 player to kitchen speakers and open cabinet where K-cups are kept. Fret that there will not be enough to last until the next club shipment and tell self you’ve had enough coffee today anyway, so forget the coffee.

Step 7.
Remember this is not Soviet Russia and you can get K-cups anywhere any old time.

Step 8.
Make a cup of Italian Roast.

Step 9.
Stand around drinking it while sorting through a pile of mail on the kitchen table.

Step 10.
Eventually look for glass baking dish. It is not in the cabinet.

Step 11.
3 quarters of an hour later, finally discover the dish on the floor of your son’s bedroom where he is using it to sort this gigantic pillow case full of coins he has been amassing under his bed, into those little bank roll things. Also discover the missing marinade container and that deviled egg platter thing.

Step 12.
Marvel at the amount of money your son has collected (>$500!) and suggest he take you out to dinner with that money. Say you're just kidding. Try to sound like you mean it.(This is an optional step)

Step 13.
Repeat step 2. Glance at clock. Rinse dish.

Step 14.
Squish the ground beef out into a big sauté pan and brown it.

Step 15.
While it’s browning chop up onion and pepper. Realize you should have done this step first and after sautéing veggies, added the beef. Shrug. Keep going.

Step 16.
Cut up Monterey Jack cheese into chunks, a chunk for each tortilla. Give a piece to your adoring canine companion who is gazing up at you with a look that you know says “You are the best chef and mommy ever.” Reply “Aww, thanks, baby girl.” Give her another piece of cheese.

Step 17.
Dump contents of enchilada sauce cans into saucepan turn heat to medium

Step 18.
Stir the beef and onion and pepper mixture. Think you should drain beef but this super expensive Emeril pan G bought is just too damn heavy.(Seriously, it must weigh like, 50 lbs. Emeril doesn’t look that strong on tv) Decide to skip that step, rationalizing you’re using 97% lean beef anyway.

Step 19.
Give Blossom another piece of cheese when she wags her tail to let you know she thinks you made the right decision. As per always.

Step 20.
Add toxic flavor packet to ground beef according to directions.

Step 21.
Glop some sour cream into pan of enchilada sauce and stir it in, until the sauce turns a nice orange color.

Step 22.
Pour a little enchilada sauce on the bottom of baking dish. And then in a pie plate.

Step 23.
Realize you forgot to turn oven on. Do that now. 350 degrees sounds about right.

Step 24.
Dip each tortilla in sauce in pie plate and flip over coating each one. Spoon some beef mixture in each and one chunk of Monterey Jack. Then roll up tortilla and place in dish. Warning! This is a very messy step.

Step 25.
Repeat this step until you have run out of tortillas and filled the dish, all the while trying to guesstimate how much beef to put in each one so there will be enough for each. Wind up with one very overstuffed enchilada.

Step 26.
Pour all remaining sauce over the top and dump bag of grated Mexican cheese over everything and place in oven for 30 minutes, give or take.

Step 27.
Survey kitchen and smile with a sense of a job well done and the carb-o-luscious nutritionally dubious meal that will be ready in just under 30 minutes.

Step 28.
And the grateful husband and son who will eat said nutritionally dubious meal.

Step 29.
And the fact that someone else is going to clean up.

Step 30.
Give the dog some cheese.

Buen Provecho!


6 thoughts on “How to Make Nutritionally Dubious Enchiladas the Way ~K Does

    • *whispers* Sounds great. I’ll be right over!
      P.S. I showed Erik the photo of the cast of Washington’s face on your blog. He thought it was very cool. =)

  1. Claudia Nutley says:

    I have read a couple of your posts. Two brought tears to my eyes (in a good way), the third made me laugh out loud. Keep it up. You should be a writer.

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