Ready, Set…

Some hard truths about me: I’ve never had a truly original thought in my little mainstream brain. I’m willing to bet that there are hundreds of posts here on W.P with the same exact title as this one. And I’m a procrastinator. And I seem to be having trouble paying attention to things lately. The length of my average span of attention is, I would guess, about 30 seconds. I’ll be talking to someone, following along, making eye contact and then  think “Crap-I forgot to get peanut butter” and the next thing I know they’re waiting for me to say something, an expectant look on their face, and I’m thinking “Uh-oh.” I don’t know what ‘s going on. (At that moment or in general) Maybe it’s a middle aged decrease in attention span hormones, or a case of fat cells crowding out brain cells, or a brain tumor or toxic mold. The point is, I have a real hard time staying focused.

So. Where were we?

Nevertheless, when my dear friend R posted on FB asking me if I was going to do NaNoWriMo and optimistically answered “Yes, yes YES! for us both, and then explained to me what it was, I thought:

Sure! Why not?

Apparently NaNoWriMo is a worldwide event that I hadn’t known anything about- which is weird because I’m a big reader and am on Goodreads etc. You’d think I would have at least heard of it. Maybe I just forgot I knew about it, because in addition to my other mental woes, I’m having trouble remembering things too.

Basically, in a nutshell NaNoWriMo is: In 30 days, write a 50,000 word novel. That’s it.

Piece-o-cake. Right?

Because as far as I know, they don’ t have to be good words, or words that make sense, or words that are of interest to anyone but me. At least I think that’s right. I did kind of skim over the rules part before I clicked the Agree to Terms button. I guess the main goal of it is to encourage writers to get the words out of their brains and onto a computer screen and then go back and fix things later. It is a pretty cool idea.  Then when I’m at cocktail parties I can say “I’m a lab tech-slash-novelist” when people ask me what I do for a living. I don’t actually attend cocktail parties but I figure once I’m a lab tech-slash-novelist, I will. Another friend told me it’s not only possible, but easy- peasy to self publish on Amazon, so that will also be cool. I was-slash-am officially enthused.

But I typed back to R, “This only gives me 3 days to come up with a plot”

She typed back “I don’t make no plot until I start to write!.”

R has always been the more gutsy and spontaneous one.

And R says this writing will help with my attention span!

Then last night at dinner with my son, I was telling him about it.

“Have you decided on a genre?” E. asked, before taking a bite of his freshly baked, traditional Cantonese sugar dusted doughnut.

“Not yet,” I replied, my bok choy laden chopsticks halfway to my lips. (See how TOTALLY ready for this novel I am?) ” I think it might need to be satire. It’s definitely not going to be anything serious. Or good.”

This elicited a rare chuckle from E.

” In that case I think you should do a post ironic satire.”

“That sounds perfect! What is it?”

He went on to explain, and sitting there going over it, a plot started to form.  A mostly cloudy, confused, bizarre, disturbing dream like plot, but a plot none the less.

It involves vampires, brave military wives, a picturesque coastal N.C. community and post ironical satiricalness.

And I am also absolutely willing to add some S&M erotica later if that’s what it takes to get it on an e-reader.

This post is only 300 something words, so I’ll need to write 50 posts about 3x as long as this. In a month.

Did I mention I’m an abysmal typer?

It’s gonna be great!


2 thoughts on “Ready, Set…

  1. I wrote it yesterday so I wouldn’t use up valuable writing time, not writing on my novel. =)
    I actually have a plot in mind so I’m just going to start writing and try to go for an hour straight- even if it’s pure crap. 50,000 words in 30 days works out to 1,666 words per day. Holy Cow.

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